Middle Earth Invades Harry Potter Land
by MooTimes2
Summary: Crossover HP&LOTR with Legolas&Hermione possibly.What will happen when the Fellowship visits Hogwarts? A crazy not sense story by the UFC!
1. They Meet

DISCLAIMER: All of these lovely characters belong to other people. If I was J.R.R. Tolkien of J.K. Rowling was writing this the story would not be nearly this insane.

AN: This is just for amusement. This first chapter is just an intro. A story line will develop later. This is not a serious story.

When Middle Earth People Come to Visit Harry Potter Land

Once upon a time Middle Earth people came to Harry Potter land. Harry Potter people didn't know anything about them. Dumbledore just sent them over to confuse people (and maybe teach them something) (maybe). They brought the wonderful books by J.R.R. Tolkien for everyone to read. The only one who read them was Hermione. (Well duh!) She thought Legolas was an extremely sexy fictional character. When she realized he was real she just about died. She never stopped talking about him and drove Ron and Harry nuts. The next morning, Dumbledore announced that the Fellowship would be coming to visit for 3 months. Hermione, who was standing, fainted and Ron caught her and then he fainted, so Harry caught him, but then his scar flared in pain so he fell, and they all falled (fell) down.

Later, when they woke up in the hospital wing, Harry shouted "Is Ron Voldermort? Because that would explain everything!"

Then Ron woke up and started to do the chicken dance:

I don't wanna be a chicken

I don't wanna be a duck

So kiss my butt. (clap clap clap clap)

(Repeat to heart's desire)

Harry started attacking him thinking that he was Voldemort. Hermione woke up to see Harry and Ron fighting and doing the chicken dance at the same time. She decided to join them because it looked fun. Then Legolas walked in and they fainted again in the same order as before. Ron woke up first and started attacking Legolas. Hermione woke up and started attacking Ron because he was attacking Legolas. Then Harry woke up and started attacking Hermione because she was attacking Ron who was attacking Legolas. Draco walked in, saw Legolas, and screamed like a girl because he's gay and has a crush on him. Then he started attacking Harry because he was attacking Hermione because she was attacking Ron because he was attacking Legolas. Plus he hated Harry.

Then everything turns around and Legolas starts attacking Ron. Ron starts attacking Hermione, Hermione starts attacking Harry, and Harry starts attacking Draco. Then Legolas sees Hermione and faints and falls on top of her. Then the fighting stops except for Draco and Harry who never stop fighting. Then Dumbledore walks in, hits them all on the head, and eats some Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, but picks out all the earwax ones.

Then Sirius comes back from the dead to eat Dumbledore's earwax flavored Bertie Bott's Beans, and all the kids faint. Then Sirius faints because the kids fainted and he falls on Dumbledore, who then apparates so Sirius falls on Legolas.

After the flipping idiots woke up from their peaceful slumber:

-Sirius was grossed out because he was drooling on Legolas's sexy chest.

-Legolas was grossed out because he had drool on his rock hard sexy chest of muscle

-Frodo apparated into the room using the ring ("he he, my precious, he he")

-Ron woke up seeing Frodo and Legolas and began "bothering" both of them.

-Aragorn walks in and over to Hermione.

-Hermione wakes to see Aragorn's face and immediately thinks he's 10 times sexier than Legolas (like that would ever happen).

-Arwen walks in and yells at Aragorn for "frolicking" with Hermione

After that interesting fiasco Dumbledore walked in(imagine the words running through his head). Then everyone fell down from the smell of Dumbledore's feet (he wasn't wearing any shoes), and Dumbledore fell over from the sight of seeing everyone else fall over.


	2. Larry

AN: Still working on plot (or lack thereof)…Here it goes…

Ron wakes up and says, "Canada is a country without a cuisine. When's the last time you went out for Canadian?"

Hearing this, Legolas says, "Pirate's code. Any man that falls behind is left behind. Wait, wrong movie…" before passing out.

"Oh! Quote it again. You were so hot in that movie!" Hermione begs.

"I quite agree." Stated Draco.

Everyone turned to stare at him.

Hearing this, Legolas says, "Pirate's code. Any man that falls behind is left behind. Wait, wrong movie…" before passing out.

Hermione then says, "Am I experiencing déjà vu?"

Hermione then says, "Am I experiencing déjà vu?"

Everyone, now woken up, just stares. Then they start playing spin the bottle strip truth or dare with skittles. (Neither skittles nor strip truth or dare for you, Larry.)

Hermione spun the bottle first, after she cast a spell on it so it would land on Legolas. "Truth or Dare Sexy?"

"Ummm….Dare." Said Sexy.

"I dare you to kiss me." Hermione said.

So they did. Then Legolas with a surprised and satisfied look on his face dragged her into the closet. The rest of the people sat around until 7 minutes later an egg timer went. Then Legolas and Hermione came out and Legolas said, "I feel something. A strange tingling in my fingers. and other places I think it's affecting me."

Then Legolas spins the bottle and it lands on Draco. Draco does the happy finger dance and then says, "Dare"

"I dare you to dare me something." Legolas smartly replies.

"Okay. I dare you to kiss me!" Draco says.

"Ummmm…..no." Legolas says and then takes off his shirt, as it's strip truth or dare.

Then Draco spins the bottle and it lands on Ginny who randomly showed up because she also agrees that Legolas is sexy but knows that he is a pompous jerk who only cares about his chest and why Hermione is with him in a closet instead of her youngest brother she didn't know because she should be with Ron furthering the Weasley pedigree. (Hey Larry and Catherine we're studying for biology. What are you doing? Second thought, don't answer that.) "Truth or Dare Ginny?"

"Truth."

"What's your most embarrassing moment?" Draco asked.

"Well there was this one time where I was drunk on butterbeer thanks to the twins and wandering around the dungeons I ran into Prof. Snape who had a little to much whatever he had been drinking that day. He though I was some hot red head babe and I wanted to make fun of him so I started doing the chicken dance only I added my own words.

I don't want to be a Slytherin

I don't want to be a death eater

So kiss my butt. (clap clap clap clap)

After a little of that it got through the git's fat head that I was insulting him, but he couldn't talk because he was so intoxicated so thankfully he didn't take points or give me detention." Ginny recited.

"Thank you for jogging my memory Ms. Weasley. 50 points from Gryffindor and detention tonight at 8 in the dungeons." Snape barked out from the shadows where he had been hiding in the corner. (Looks like he's on good terms with Ping-Ling and Ling-Ling. How are your issues coming Catherine?)

Then Snape starts singing

A hairy old whore

And a hoary old hare

Are very good meat for Lent,

But a sickly whore

Isn't useful any more

To a very lusty gent.

Everyone stares at him and he stutters and excuse.

"It wasn't me! I swear! The pandas made me! Curse you Ping-Ling! Curse you Ling-Ling!" Then he pulls out his flask. Takes a mouthful and walks out the door menacingly with his cloak billowing looks and sees it's a closet and Arwen and Aragorn are in there. "Opps!" He says then walks out the real door leaving the closet open.

Arwen and Aragorn join the circle but still cling to each. (Catherine and Larry…) Ginny spins the bottle and it lands on Dumbledore who flew in with Fawkes because he loves stripping, as seen in Potter Puppet Pals.

"Truth or Dare Sir?"

"Truth."

"Will I end up with my true love….I think you know who I mean." shifty eyesglances at Harry and gives him a flirtatious smile while Serenata plays in the background as we go on our merry way to Strolling Strings

"Umm…………..Me no know………." He says as he strips and then flies off to find Gandalf after he'd been abused by Saruman and is lying without clothes on the top of the evil tower.

"Guess I'll spin it then." Says Harry after everyone just sits there avoiding the unavoidable. It lands between Frodo and Sirius. "Okay. Both of you go on a quest and die. Sirius you have to die by falling through a curtain and Frodo if you just want to sail away instead of dying go ahead."

"But Harry! I don't want to die! I want to stay here and be with you and prank Snivellus. Not dead behind some dusty curtain!"

"Fine then just take off some article of clothing." Harry said.

"Uhhhh….no. I'll go die." Sirius said turning into Snuffles and bounding out the door. Frodo was already on his way.

"Why do people keep leaving before they spin the bottle?" asked Ron getting annoyed.

"Oh hi Ron! Forgot you were here! Hey guys what should we do with him?" Ginny asked.

"Oh! Let's put him in a dress and heals!" Hermione said clapping her hands.

"Pretty in pink!" squealed Ginny.

"But it would clash horribly with his hair!" put in Draco.

They start arguing and discussing pulling out random pieces of fabric to see what would go better holding them up against Ron. Harry noticing the terrified look on Ron's face tries to get his friend out of this torture. "Why don't you just throw him in a pit of spiders?" Harry asked.

"That's a good idea Harry. Well Ron which do you want to be dressed up like a pretty princess in pink or thrown in a pit of spiders?" Asked Ginny.

"I'll take the dress!" Ron said as he thrusts his finger violently into the air. (Catherine I bet you thought he was going to put his finger somewhere else cough is he Greek? cough)

After they find the perfect material shoes and makeup and fix his hair since it's long enough for him to be mistaken for Ginny, they take lots of pictures to put on wizardspace, the magical equivalent of myspace.

Then Ron spins the bottle and it lands on Harry.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Harry said always up to a challenge

"I dare you to kiss Malfoy." Ron said

"Hell no!" He yelled stripping off his shirt.

Malfoy gets up and tries to kiss Harry anyway. So Harry runs away and then Harry trips over a rug and lands on Ginny's lips all the while he has no shirt on. (so that's where the kids come from!) Then they get married and have a big enough family for an international quidditch team! (Wait that's later. Much later. Catherine and Larry…be like Harry and Ginny, not the kids part! The Much later part.)

Malfoy is sad.

Tear.

Here is the link for Potter Puppet Pals if you so desire to watch it. 


End file.
